Oct. 29, 2004
friday
[ General ] - grace - grace@ graceuncensored.com
@ 11:00 am
it's supposed to be almost EIGHTY today, fairly unprecendented in central Illinois, so i should be outside instead of in here typing. or better yet, i could be typing outside.
i've been doing lots of cooking for a halloween party we're having. it's been fun, and actually, that's what i should really be doing right now. the only problem thus far with the cooking is that there is a very large bowl of halloween candy sitting on the kitchen table. i think about that bowl of candy all the time, and i've begun to hate it. while at the same time coveting it, longing for it, yearning to dive right into it, of course.
it's definitely like leaving a great big bowl of fresh heroin out on the kitchen table for a heroin addict. even if a heroin addict hadn't had any heroin in a long time, the temptation would surely be too great. and it's not like i haven't had any candy in a long time. i've gone about 13 hours now with no chocolate, but only because i was asleep for many of them
on the bright side, i have no desire at all for heroin. no heroin cravings. i did see the movie "trainspotting" a long time ago; they were all heroin addicts, including the very cute ewan mcgregor who managed to look not so cute in the film. it seems that if people were to watch that movie, they'd have no desire to even try the heroin. it doesn't look like a whole lot of fun, to be perfectly honest.
now our party, that's going to be fun. but we're not going to have any bobbing for apples - i'm torn about the apple-bobbing idea. in theory it sounds like fun, and i know i enjoyed it as a kid. but if i was to do it now, i'd get my whole head wet, and i don't want to do that. i'm going to be wearing some outrageously glitzy false eyelashes, and they'd definitely fall off in the water. not to mention all the makeup-running that would occur.
we did see a bobbing-for-apple bucket at a store. i believe i've seen all the halloween decorations/costumes in town now, and i've purchased many of them. MB and i were at wal-mart the other night looking for halloween candy (see, if i didn't BUY it, then i wouldn't have this little TEMPTATION issue, now would i?), and there were lots and lots of people shuffling around in there, milling about the costume/candy/decoration aisles. nobody looked particularly happy; it was like they were all on these do-or-die missions to find halloween stuff. some of the kids looked a little jazzed, but that's probably because they, too, have been preemptively dipping into the halloween chocolates and are in a constant state of being wired, like me.
we are going to have some non-apple-bobbing games at the party, although we have to create some of them, some of them taking quite a bit of work, and we haven't even started yet. i keep saying TIME IS RUNNING OUT to MB, but he seems very calm and collected about the whole thing
one woman coming to our party said she's not going to wear a costume. she had the best excuse i've heard; she said that her child would talk about what he wanted to be for halloween EVERY SINGLE DAY of the year. a few weeks before the actual holiday, she'd tell him that whatever he decided on that day was going to be it. the kid would be fine with that, except a few days later, he'd start talking about his costume for the NEXT year.
i wonder, if this child is a grownup now, does he still dress up? do thought of dressing up still fill his days? that would be kind of a fun thing to spend your time contemplating, instead of worrying about eating too much halloween candy, for example, or fretting about bills and jobs, family issues and things you have no control over. maybe i'll do that today; instead of worrying about things, i'll focus on what i'm going to be NEXT year.
ok then,happy halloween. i hope you get lots of candy.
grace
Oct. 21, 2004
Pink
[ General ] - grace - grace@ graceuncensored.com
@ 10:29 am
The PINK SLIP doesn't look so bad...
FIRED, plus many random
[ General ] - grace - grace@ graceuncensored.com
@ 8:39 am
First, in case you hadn't heard: last Friday, the editor of the Illinois Times fired me. He said people were sick of reading about me, me, me. I told him he was wrong, that people e-mail me or approach me on a daily basis to tell me they love the column, they're addicted, they can't get enough, it's the first thing they turn to in the paper.
Not anymore. So, if you want to keep reading, here I am. At least once a week, but probably more, because I can't help myself. Grace, Uncensored. Even MORE me, plus with things like ALL CAPS which I missed sorely when writing for the paper. Not to mention nobody changing all my "likes" to "such as," which always rubbed me the wrong way. I rarely (do I ever?) write "such as," so when it was inevitably inserted into a column, it felt wrong.
But enough of that. Things are good, Halloween is approaching, and MB and I have bought enough decorations to fill the house. My latest acquisition is a flying bat, procured from the Cardologist. The bat is attached to a cord that you hang from the ceiling, and it flies in a circle and its red eyes blink. Very cool, for a measly four bucks.
This morning I'm listening to a CD by Dr. Demento. Are you familiar with him? He had a radio show quite a while ago, and played all kinds of funny music from all different times. I just heard "The Purple People Eater," by the very popular Sheb Wooley. Other tunes on the CD (it's the 20th Anniversary Collection, put out by Rhino Records) include "Gitarzan," the classic "Monster Mash," "The Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun," and Shel Silverstein reading one of his poems, "Sahra Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out." The CDs are stuffed with all kinds of funny songs. I wonder why nobody writes funny songs anymore? Weird Al is still performing, but there's never a wildly popular bit of fluff that makes you laugh, like Steve Martin's "King Tut." We certainly need some of that now, don't we?
Dr. Demento's show was apparently very well-known, and MB was a little startled that I'd never heard of it. When the song "Fish Heads" came on, he kept asking me if I was sure I'd never heard it. I realized I was supposed to have, so I said probably I had. But then I confessed that I hadn't. I told him he didn't realize the depth and breadth of the musical void in my life. I reminded him that the only reason I started listening to music in junior high was a vain attempt to fit in. "Didn't you listen to anything in college?" he asked. I'm still trying to recall. I definitely went to a Police concert once.
Last week I went to a potluck dinner party, and there were four desserts. Not so unusual, you might think, since it was a potluck. But the four (incredibly tasty) desserts were all baked by the same man, JL. A luscious caramel apple pie, creamy banana pie (he said it's called "Not Your Momma's Banana Pie," pumpkin butter cake, and a perfect-looking chocolate cake. Excessive, some might say. But I found them sublime (especially the chocolate cake). The desserts (of course I tried them all) followed a fine dinner, but at some point I thought it too bad that we had to eat all that food before getting to the dessert. My next dinner party, I'm going to serve dessert first. Or maybe just dessert, who really needs a main course?
I was in the post office the other day, and the man behind the counter asked an older gentleman if he'd had a nice weekend. The old guy replied, "I'm 80 years old, and every weekend is good when you're 80. And you know what I do first thing every weekend?" he said, "I bake cookies."
Yet another man after my own heart.
Last weekend I saw both "Side by Side by Sondheim," and the Springfield Ballet Company's Rockballet. The Sondheim revue was produced by Gus Gordon. I honestly don't know how that man has any time for his weathermanning duties. He's constantly producing shows, which must take a huge amount of time, and every one I've seen has been professionally done and highly entertaining. S by S by S is no exception.
I hadn't seen a Rockballet for years, and it was highly entertaining. The dances were choreographed to songs by the "Top 10 Rock Artists of All Time." This included The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, U2, Led Zeppelin, Queen, and Elton John. Although I didn't recall many of the songs when looking at the program, I was relieved that I did know more of them than I thought when they were actually playing. One of my favorite dances was Elton John's "Stooges on a Wire;" four girls dressed in baggy suits, carrying huge umbrellas, danced on pointe. It was fun to watch, as were most of the dances.
I boldly wore a pair of clogs to the Rockballet, because my broken (is it REALLY broken? I keep asking myself) toe felt better. Big mistake. I won't be doing any pointe dancing any time soon. OK, probably never, if you really want to know.
But the breaking isn't going to stop me from having a fun Halloween. I've been trying to think of a costume that could incorporate my big blue shoe. My friend Randy suggested that I be a cave woman, and cover the shoe with bits of fur. Hmm, stylish and practical, both. I'll have to think about that one.
OK then,
gs
Oct. 13,
Shortie and Giz have a
[ General ] - grace - grace@ graceuncensored.com
@ 8:46 am
Shortie and Gizmo, my parents' black and white Pekinese, got to step out over the Columbus Day holiday. My parents went to Chicago, and Shortie and Giz came to MB's house for a very big and exciting weekend.
The last time Shortie and Giz came to MB's house (a birthday party, which they thoroughly enjoyed), Shortie marched right in and promptly pee'd on MB's couch. I guess he wanted everybody to think the party was all about him.
This time, Shortie was much more well-behaved. Well, he didn't pee inside, anyway. Both dogs were quite excited to be somewhere other than home, and there was quite a bit of barking and running around like little mad dogs upon arrival.
At the same time, they were kind of unsettled, and didn't know the protocol. At my parents' house they spend a lot of time sleeping, but at MB's, they followed us around, afraid they were going to miss out on excitement and treats.
I initially forgot to bring their treats to MB's, and I figured they'd be more than content with Mollie's fine selection of very fancy dog snacks. She has a wide array of premium morsels, in a variety of sizes, shapes, and smells.
Shortie and Giz had no interest whatsoever. I'd offer them some tempting tidbit and they'd just look at me, not angrily, just disappointed and disinterested. Mollie, meanwhile, would snatch the treat and run away to eagerly wolf it down.
Mollie got a whole lot of treats during the weekend.
I made a trip back to my parents' house to get the dogs' special treats. They love the cheap dog bone-shaped snacks which come in a variety of colors. Shortie and Giz were quite appreciative of my effort, except they were somewhat let down because I didn't bring them any cookies.
That's what Dad feeds them quite a bit, actual cookies. Chocolate chip, oatmeal, sugar cookies, it doesn't matter, the dogs love (and expect) them all. They get this from Dad, whose diet is heavily comprised of cookies, as well as sugary baked goods in general.
MB, on the other hand, has no cookies at his house. Shortie and Giz didn't shed actual doggie tears, but I felt like I'd let them down. Next time, I'll stock up on cookies for them.
Like I mentioned, Shortie and Giz get a little bit bored at home with their same old doggie routine. Shortie sometimes wants to play with Giz, who acts like Shortie isn't even there. But for some reason, at MB's, Giz suddenly acknowledged Shortie's presence, and the dogs barked and chased each other around the house with reckless abandon. Occasionally Shortie got really wound up, chasing and barking at Mollie, who was a little taken aback and cowered on the couch for a while. Mollie is about three times the size of the little dogs, by the way. Maybe because she's a girl she's more polite, quiet, and reserved.
Sometimes, though, they all went a little nuts, rolling around on the floor and yapping. Mollie has always been an only dog, and I've told MB that she might be happier with some doggie companionship in her life, but he seems to think she likes being the lone canine. But they all looked like they were having a very good time, especially when they ran around together out in the yard.
We took them all for a walk, too, which was rather chaotic. Normally, taking Shortie and Giz for a walk is challenging because they constantly get tangled up in each other's leashes. But adding a third dog to the mix made things crazy, and it wasn't so much a walk as more of a stand-and-get-untangled.
We took them to the park, where MB let Mollie off her leash so she could run around and chase bunnies. Shortie and Giz are never, ever allowed off their leashes because they'd immediately run away and not come back. Also, they think that they're actually great big Labs, or perhaps Sheep dogs, and feel compelled to throw themselves at passing vehicles, barking insanely, lunging and straining at their leashes.
Also, when other dogs are anywhere near, Shortie and Giz do the same routine, barking and lunging, clearly desirous of attacking and eating the other dogs (who are invariably bigger, and could take care of the Pekinese with one bite). Mollie, on the other hand, doesn't even seem to see other dogs at all. So I guess if the three dogs were alone together, Shortie and Giz would gallantly fight off other huge dogs.
Everybody got along quite well when it came time to sleep. We had a big slumber party, with Shortie up on the bed - he doesn't move at all during the night, and he's so small that you almost can't tell he's there. Giz and Mollie each slept in Mollie's dog beds (being a somewhat spoiled only dog, she has three), and all was peaceful.
Except for the snoring. I've slept with both Giz and Mollie separately, and knew that both were capable of loud snoring. But suddenly, the combined snoring seemed much more cacophonous. They didn't snore in unison, but instead, one would snore, and then the other. One was high, the other low. They sort of balanced each other out, actually, and I though maybe it would be soothing and I'd sleep through it. I quickly realized it was more annoying than soothing.
But I have this thing about waking anybody up when they're snoring. This is crazy, I know, since I'm being kept awake, and all I'd have to do is nudge the person and say, "stop snoring," and they would. But even with dogs, I didn't want to disturb anybody. So I got up and crept around, petting the dogs gently so they'd wake up enough to quit the snoring. It worked just fine, and the rest of the night was peaceful and pleasant.
Doggie vacations, I think they're a great idea for enhancing your dog's life experiences, not to mention helping them with their social skills. I'd hoped that Mollie would be a good example for Shortie and Giz, and that the dogs pick up some finer doggie manners, but that didn't work out so well.
Next time.
ok then,
gs
Oct. 05, 2004
p.s.
[ General ] - grace - grace@ graceuncensored.com
@ 12:20 am
C. and i were checking the website stats tonight (she was doing all the checking; i was lying in bed talking on the phone listening to her talk, mostly, except when i'd occasionally say, "REALLY?" or "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?" or "NOW HOW DOES THAT WORK EXACTLY?"), and apparently there are PLENTY of people checking into this site. hmm, i wonder who they are. besides C., that is. more people than friends, because there were more hits last months than friends i have. unless i have many more friends than i realized. so my one question is, if my friends, known or unknown to me, are READING this, why don't you EVER WRITE TO ME???
that's all i'm asking. i realize the typing can be burdensome/odious/time-consuming/tedious to many.
ok then, now i REALLY am going to sleep now.
gs
VERY LATE AT NIGHT
[ General ] - grace - grace@ graceuncensored.com
@ 12:16 am
it's 11:57 p.m. according to the bedside clock, 11:59 by the computer clock, 11:58 by the clock on my phone. LATE, by any standards, because i got up early today and did a bunch of stuff including a weightlifting class. in my sandals. and I KNOW everybody was thinking, "why is she wearing those silly sandals in weightlifting class, when the rest of us are properly attired in our regulation gym-type shoes?" but nobody actually SPOKE those words, so i wasn't able to say I BROKE MY TOE.
which i'm getting quite sick of actually, and tonight jim said he thinks it's a sprained tendon. so maybe that means it's not so bad and i'll be able to get back to running sooner than i thought? not to MENTION having to wear ugly flat shoes when i go out, instead of my many sexy pairs of heels.
last night we saw one of the best performances i've ever seen in my life. 10 Tenors. please look them up; i'm sure their website is listed in the program lying somewhere on the bedroom floor, but that would involve getting out of bed and looking around for it, and i just don't have the energy right now. plus, the cat would be quite disturbed if i were to move.
anyway, 10 tenors, 10 cute australian guys, most of whom were in opera school together and had a great time together goofing around, and put together this GREAT act. they sing opera, they sing queen, they sing all kinds of delightful stuff, plus dancing, lots of pelvis-thrusting, and lots of encouraging of audience feedback. i encouraged MB to whistle, because he whistles louder than anybody i know.
i told this to my mom, and she wants MB to teach her sometime. it's something she's always wanted to do. her dad could whistle really loud, but somehow Mom hasn't mastered it yet. but it's never too late.
now, the 10 tenors were quite fantastic (look them up and then GO TO A SHOW, no matter where it is!!!!!), and i was wearing a skirt and a top that matched, but i had to wear these FLAT sandals and i looked and felt like i was wearing BEDROOM SLIPPERS.
i suppose i should have worn my jeans, which wouldn't have looked so bad with the shoes; other people were wearing jeans, some wearing sweatshirts to go with the jeans, plenty of REALLY old ladies doddering around in whatever thing they happened to throw on.
but it's fun to get dressed up. so next time, NEXT TIME, i'm going to find SOMETHING better to wear on my feet. or who knows, maybe, if i hurry up and GO TO BED SOON, my toe will be MIRACULOUSLY HEALED BY MORNING.
this is all i can hope for.
tomorrow will perhaps be an interesting and different kind of day, unless, of coure, i'm too wound up to sleep and then i get up late and everything is ruined. or "ruint," as randy would say, because he has some old relative who says "everything is ruint," which amuses us all quite a bit.
and by the way, MB beat me at boggle over the weekend. clearly, clearly, we're going to have to have a boggle grand championship showdown very, very soon - we'll have to fly C. in for a special tournament. randy is quite sure that he could beat C, if he was allowed enough time for warming up, plus plenty of cocktails, but i do believe that MB will give her a run for her money.
me, i wouldn't mind playing a good game of candyland. it probably isn't as much fun as it looks, but i do remember that it was my #1 favorite game when i was about four.
it's always been all about the candy, hasn't it?
getting colder and colder outside. must find a way to keep warm...
ok then,
gs
p.s. october is already turning out to be kind of interesting; i'm interested in seeing how it progresses...
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